From Heartbreak to Hope: Supporting Widows When It Matters Most with Chris Bentley

How do you truly show up for someone who’s lost their spouse?

Kelly Augspurger welcomes Chris Bentley, founder of Wings for Widows, for a heartfelt conversation on the early days of widowhood—when life feels blurry, overwhelming, and isolating. From “widow fog” to financial pitfalls, Chris offers real insight and practical guidance for families, friends, and professionals alike.

Whether you're walking alongside someone grieving or planning for your own future, this episode offers wisdom, comfort, and direction.

For additional information about Kelly, check her out on Linkedin or www.SteadfastAgents.com.

To explore your options for long-term care insurance, click here.

Steadfast Care Planning podcast is made possible by AMADA Senior Care and Steadfast Insurance LLC.

Come back next time for more helpful guidance!

Transcript

Kelly Augspurger [00:00:02]:
Hey, everyone. Welcome to Steadfast Care Planning, where we plan for care to live well. I'm Kelly Augspurger, long-term care insurance specialist and your guide. With me today is Chris Bentley, founder and executive director of Wings for Widows and founder and managing director of WidowWise LLC, the parent company of Widowers Support Network. Welcome, Chris. Thanks so much for being here.

Chris Bentley [00:00:24]:
Thanks, Kelly. Thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to our conversation.

Kelly Augspurger [00:00:28]:
Today we are going to be talking about how to best support widows. So, Chris, can we jump right in?

Chris Bentley [00:00:33]:
Let's do it.

Kelly Augspurger [00:00:34]:
Okay, Chris, what are the most common emotional and logistical challenges that people face in the first, let's say 30 to 90 days after losing a spouse? What do you see?

Chris Bentley [00:00:45]:
Well, the first few months clearly are disorienting, right? Emotionally, they're in a fog. They're exhausted, grieving, and suddenly responsible for decisions that they didn't expect to make. It's hard to think clearly, let alone plan, even for the next hour, is tough work. Some research was done a few years ago and 91% are afflicted with something known as widow fog or widow brain. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that term, but it's a physiological reaction to trauma and in this case, the trauma of loss. And it can last for a long time, two years or more. And it's responsible for irritability and forgetfulness, short attention span, even nausea. I mean, it's truly debilitating and it particularly affects memory function.

Chris Bentley [00:01:31]:
So you have someone who is supposed to tackle all the practical matters of loss beginning in those critical periods that 30 to 90 days. And this includes making some really important decisions when he or she are least able to do so. So emotionally, it's really a tough time. Logistically, people often find they just don't have access to things that they thought they would, like bank accounts, or passwords, or they don't even know how to pay the bills. Some don't know where key documents are kept. At Wings for Widows, we've seen clients who have never written a check, or logged on into online banking. Suddenly, they are at the helm with no experience. This same research I referred to says it's true for 86% of widows and widowers.

Chris Bentley [00:02:15]:
They have no experience making financial decisions on their own, and they chalk that up to being one of the most difficult challenges of early widowhood is having to make these decisions with really no expert advice to guide them. But because they have no experience, they simply don't know what they don't know, so those are kind of two important points. I guess on top of that, I'm not so sure in the 30 to 90 day time frame, but social dynamics do shift. Couple friends may drift away and loneliness sets in pretty fast. Isolation is very prevalent. It's a big problem in the widow community. It was a huge problem during the pandemic. Even grocery shopping feels unfamiliar when you're buying for one.

Kelly Augspurger [00:02:56]:
Right.

Chris Bentley [00:02:56]:
The emotional and practical overwhelm is constant, especially without guidance and loving support.

Kelly Augspurger [00:03:02]:
I could see how that emotional trauma affects you physically. I mean it really mentally, emotionally, spiritually. When you're going through trauma and something very difficult, there's going to be some physical consequences because of that. So I would imagine having a support system, being better prepared if we can, to try to avoid some of that is going to be crucial.

Chris Bentley [00:03:23]:
To that point, Kelly, some other research conducted in 2018, more than 30% of first year widows require an additional medical for physical or mental health reasons, require extra care, extra attention. And I believe it's the numbers around 15% experience severe depression that first year of widowhood. So it's a tough row to hoe, for sure.

Kelly Augspurger [00:03:47]:
Yeah well, Chris, many well meaning people say, "Let me know if you need anything." What are some better ways that we can support someone who's newly widowed, especially in those early days. What are some practical things that we can do?

Chris Bentley [00:04:01]:
Sure. You know, while that phrase's well intended, it puts the burden back on someone who's already overwhelmed, as we just talked about. It's just yet another decision, "How can you help me?" So a better approach is specific and actionable like, "Hey Mary, I'm headed to the store. What can I pick up?" Or, "I'd love to drop off dinner Thursday. Would 6pm work?" That's really helpful. That's a nod, or a pretty simple, "Yes" or "No."

Chris Bentley [00:04:23]:
They don't have to think too hard. And what it really comes down to is just simply helping by being present, maybe sitting with them during a tough call, helping them get organized. But really it's just about being a steady presence. Most importantly, just being a good listener, not a fixer, not trying to fix everything, but just being a good listener. So I guess the advice is don't disappear after the funeral. Grief lingers long after the funeral and frankly, long after the casseroles stop coming through the front door.

Kelly Augspurger [00:04:56]:
So being present, that physical presence, asking specific, "How can I help you in this way? Can I drop it off at this time, this date?" That way they're having to make fewer decisions & it feels less overwhelming.

Chris Bentley [00:05:10]:
And that changes over time. Initially it's still this widow brain, widow fog. Some don't respond at all. They simply need to isolate to deal with their own immediate pain. But eventually they'll begin responding. And it's true of most of life's traumas, typical reactions. So yeah, just stay there. Just be persistent, don't give up. Just because they may not appear to need your help today doesn't mean they won't need your help tomorrow and be willing to accept your help tomorrow.

Kelly Augspurger [00:05:36]:
That's right. Well, when it comes to financial planning, Chris, what are some of the biggest pitfalls newly widowed individuals fall into? And how can financial advisors or family help them avoid those?

Chris Bentley [00:05:46]:
Yeah, that's a great question. We get that a lot. And I think the biggest one is just acting too quickly, too hastily without having all of the complete understanding of one's financial picture, if you will. They tend to make big mistakes by making quick decisions. And I think we've all kind of heard right, "Don't make any big decisions in the first 12 months." Now not everyone has that luxury. Sometimes if there's no income, they're going to have to make a decision. They may not be able to afford a mortgage for 12 months and they're putting themselves and their family in harm's way if they sit around for 12 months before making decision.

Chris Bentley [00:06:19]:
But often that's where we see big mistakes happen. Making decisions without having a complete understanding of their financial situation. Selling the house, selling assets, moving, or investing. I am thinking of one particular example where before we could help this person, they took the life insurance proceeds that they had received from a small-term insurance and immediately took that and paid off bills that they weren't legally responsible to pay off. And it was the only extra money coming in and it was just heartbreaking. So, grief clouds judgment. As I mentioned, going back to this widow fog again, so many also discover they just didn't fully understand their finances and social security and pensions and taxes. We just kind of take this stuff for granted until you're confronted with the need to know. And this stuff is confusing for all of us, even without grief.

Chris Bentley [00:07:06]:
So it's all the more challenging now after the loss. And to underscore that point, our tax and social security hub pages on our website receive the most website traffic out of any of the resource destinations on our website. There's just a dearth of information out there and they're hungry for this information. I would add to that, is to really understand cash flow. That's usually the first question we get at Wings for Widows from a widowed person is, "Am I going to be okay?" And what that translates to is, "Do I have any money? Do I have any money to pay my bills? Am I going to be okay?" And so advisors, family or professional, should help stabilize cash flow first and then pace out planning over months based on that. Family should help gather info. Helping with gathering info and not making decisions on behalf of the person is really important.

Chris Bentley [00:07:59]:
Empowering that person to make the decisions and not having family members step in and make those decisions, that's a pretty common thing that we see and all well intended, but sometimes it's not the best approach. So the goal is to slow things down and give the widows and widowers time to think clearly before making any life-altering choices. And then back to the advisors. We always say, "Get the true professionals involved." Most are well intended, but we've seen where there isn't a professional network available. Never used a professional network. It all seems sort of scary.

Chris Bentley [00:08:32]:
And so they wing it with family members and they rely on Google.

Kelly Augspurger [00:08:36]:
Yeah.

Chris Bentley [00:08:37]:
Or, on another widow and grief share. Well, what might have worked well for one widow doesn't necessarily have application to somebody else's unique situation. And so we always say, "Get those professionals involved as soon as you can." At Wings for Widows, that's what we do. We provide professionals and professional referrals to keep folks out of trouble financially, legally, tax-wise, and so forth. So get those professionals involved. One of the first is an estate planning attorney. Especially if there are assets, a will, or no will, or a trust. This is not a time to go it alone and get into trouble.

Kelly Augspurger [00:09:13]:
Right. Okay. So seek that professional help. Cash flow is king. We gotta tackle those things first. That way we have a good strategic plan and we're not just winging it. Right?

Chris Bentley [00:09:23]:
Perfect. Yeah, perfect summary.

Kelly Augspurger [00:09:24]:
Okay. All right. The Steadfast Care Planning podcast is sponsored by AMADA Senior Care. AMADA provides complimentary consultation with a senior care advisor to find the right care from in-home caregiving to community care, as well as long-term care insurance claim advocacy and unique support partnership for financial advisors to address family transitions and generational retention. To learn more, visit www. SteadfastWithAmada.com. Chris, I've heard you talk before about spiritual and emotional triage.

Kelly Augspurger [00:10:01]:
What does that mean to you? And why is it so essential in the grieving process?

Chris Bentley [00:10:05]:
At Wings for Widows, that's not our focus: grief. We're sensitive to grief. We're really around financial triage, but you can't separate the two. You can't separate the emotions from the practical matters of loss. And so it's really about figuring out what needs immediate attention and what can wait. Just like in a hospital, you prioritize survival over everything else. So in grief, that means checking the basics.

Chris Bentley [00:10:30]:
Are they eating, are they sleeping, are they safe? Spiritually, it's about helping them hang on to their sense of meaning, their sense of identity when life feels broken. And there are many great resources out there and experts in this field that are well experienced in working with individuals who are experiencing deep loss and who require spiritual and emotional triage. Much better than Wings for Widows. But to your point, people feel pressured to try to do it all. Family wants to jump in and help solve everything. Funeral and paperwork and the thank you notes. And there's so much in that, if we refer back to that 30 to 90 days, such a life-altering transition during that time. And many work through that transition numb because there's so much to focus on.

Chris Bentley [00:11:16]:
So really using the support, the advice should be process what you can, one step at a time. Triage helps them focus on what they can manage today. Baby steps. And it gives them permission to let the other things rest. And most everything can wait a day, a week, a month. Not everything has to be solved all at once.

Kelly Augspurger [00:11:35]:
Right now. Things that are not an emergency, but really prioritizing what are the most important things that we need to do today. Maybe even this hour. I would imagine when you're dealing with that much emotional trauma, it really is, "I'm taking every hour by the hour. I'm not even thinking about necessarily next month. But I'm just trying to survive and thrive in this hour and in this day."

Chris Bentley [00:12:00]:
That's correct. And I would say that our sweet spot at Wings for Widows is actually around 6 to 9 months because, okay, those first few months are such turmoil, chaos, we call it financial turmoil and crisis, that it just needs some time to be able to get out of bed and stand on two feet. And to think much beyond one hour is really a lot. And so once we get to that 6 to 9 months, we can start talking about next week and next month and that starts to resonate with the folks.

Kelly Augspurger [00:12:28]:
Okay. And talking about the overwhelm, Chris, what are a few small but impactful organizational tips that can help new widows start to regain some sense of control.

Chris Bentley [00:12:38]:
Yeah, you know what we're really talking about is sort of organization and having a plan. And as I just mentioned, it takes a few months to kind of have a plan and act on that.

Kelly Augspurger [00:12:48]:
Yeah.

Chris Bentley [00:12:48]:
So we spent a lot of time working on sort of crisis planning and putting out the immediate fires and moving towards some of the longer-term issues. But then specifically for your question, it's starting small. It's helping folks get organized, maybe one drawer, one file at a time. It is kind of amazing to see how folks organize. And we've seen a lot of folks organize a lot of different ways over our 8 years of existence. And we used to go to the homes right before the pandemic and we would help them get organized. That was part of what we did because

Chris Bentley [00:13:19]:
you'd come into the home and see unopened letters in massive piles on the dining room table because it was too overwhelming to open one, let alone hundreds. And so we would just start by opening the mail one letter at a time and putting them in a stack. This one requires immediate attention. This one can sit. This one we've got questions about. We'll have to call and find out.

Kelly Augspurger [00:13:40]:
Yeah.

Chris Bentley [00:13:41]:
And really just using sticky notes and just getting them organized. And here's why that's so effective. A, you don't want to miss anything coming in the mail that they should be reading and acting upon. And there's some examples of that. But it's really about just opening the mail for the day. That's a sense of accomplishment.

Chris Bentley [00:13:58]:
And that matters.

Kelly Augspurger [00:13:59]:
Yeah.

Chris Bentley [00:14:00]:
That matters that I've opened my mail today. Sounds silly, maybe for us, but I know my wife, she doesn't like to open mail. I have to open her mail. But for most of us, we open our mail every day, but not when you're widowed. So creating maybe a daily survival kit with essentials, medications that need to be taken, key contacts, who are the folks I need to contact today? Where's the checkbook? Where are the passwords? And I think part of this getting organized, it lowers this whole sense of crisis of stress. It is so stressful. In fact, becoming a widow is the number one stressor in our lifetime. Divorce is number two.

Chris Bentley [00:14:37]:
Folks often think that divorce is more stressful, but actually losing a spouse is more stressful. So there is no bigger curveball that life can throw. So by getting organized, these folks reduce that stress in their life. And the more we do that, the more they feel in control, to use your words, the more they feel empowered that, "I've got this," the more sense of accomplishment and that matters. I think the biggest help that we found initially, and we do this with everyone that we work with, is pulling one or two credit reports for both spouses, even the decedent. And the reason this is so important is, by the way, we find that most haven't pulled a credit report ever, even though they're free to pull. And so it's a great exercise that we do with our clients. And doing so provides an excellent inventory of all the active accounts, including any accounts that the decedent opened and perhaps the surviving spouse doesn't even know about.

Kelly Augspurger [00:15:32]:
Right.

Chris Bentley [00:15:32]:
And particularly if they're not using a good file cabinet and they have file folders and everything's marked for all the creditors and all the important papers. Well, this could be a real mystery solver for them. So, yeah, all these accounts that the decedent may have opened need to be closed. And if there's an outstanding balance, then that creditor needs to be contacted. And this should be done in that first 60 to 90 days before a creditor may decide to move it into collections, which is not where someone wants to be, ever. So if there are many balances, then probate may be necessary. Again, it's important to connect with an estate planning attorney sooner rather than later for this reason and many more. So those would be helping them get organized, pulling credit reports, seeing if there's any accounts there with the decedent that need to be looked at immediately.

Chris Bentley [00:16:17]:
And then again, it creates this wonderful inventory if you don't have a great filing system of sort of the accounts that need to be looked at, or contacted, and so forth.

Kelly Augspurger [00:16:27]:
Great tips. I hadn't thought about credit reports, especially for the decedent. That's eye-opening. That's a really great tip.

Chris Bentley [00:16:32]:
Well, thank you. And it works for about the first 6 to 9 months. It gets more difficult as time goes on...

Kelly Augspurger [00:16:40]:
Okay.

Chris Bentley [00:16:41]:
Which is why that's one of the first things that we do when we work with someone.

Kelly Augspurger [00:16:44]:
Okay. All right. Well, Chris, what about how can financial professionals, or care planners, approach these conversations with someone who is recently widowed without being overwhelming, or even tone deaf?

Chris Bentley [00:16:56]:
I think leading with empathy is the key. I mean, everything is about putting yourself in their shoes. If you can think through that, particularly those that don't have a lot of experience with these conversations, or with these folks, leading with empathy, not urgency. Things will get to done.

Kelly Augspurger [00:17:11]:
Yeah.

Chris Bentley [00:17:11]:
You'll overwhelm a new widow, or widower if everything is urgent. We've talked about this already. So acknowledging their loss, letting them reschedule a meeting, if necessary, letting them bring someone with them. We talked about widow fog and brain fog. One way around that to get some things done is to bring an engaged family member, or someone who is an advocate, a supporter of the person, someone that they trust. And we talked about just listening more than talking, I think is really important in the beginning. So being empathetic, of course, but also being a good listener and using their spouse's name, getting comfortable with their situation. And that's uncomfortable.

Chris Bentley [00:17:50]:
You have to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. I know when I first started working with these clients 8 years ago, I was very uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say, and I wanted to be sensitive. I wanted to be respectful, and we all do. But it turns out that they really want you to use their spouses name. And it's okay to talk about it, but I think being a good listener is a good guide for when to open your mouth, and when not to. I think the other thing that's important is just working at their pace. What do they need help with? Break it into small chunks.

Chris Bentley [00:18:20]:
And if you're a professional, providing written summaries. I talked about the widow fog creating forgetfulness. We provide our clients journals because we want to encourage them to write everything down. If you're going to call creditors, you're not going to remember the conversation you had with the electric company in an hour from now. So you write down the point of contact, the phone number, who you spoke to, what the action items were, circle the action items so they're easy to find when you have to go back and remember. So keeping a journal, writing things down, tackling just a little bit each day. And again, some are financially savvy.

Chris Bentley [00:18:55]:
Some have been taking care of the finances at home. But others are brand new to it. So, where do they need help? One of the first things we do at Wings for Widows is we talk to them about what we call their "hot topics". And these are those concerns keeping them literally awake at night. What are they wrestling with that we can try to help solve right away, or at least put their fears at rest, because most of this is fear driven because they don't know. And so if we can address some of those hot topics that's a big win right up front. And some of that stress that I was talking about gets reduced right away.

Kelly Augspurger [00:19:28]:
Oh, I could see that. Yeah. These are great, practical ideas. I especially love using the decedent's name, using the spouse's name. That's very personal and very sensitive and acknowledging, right? This was someone very important to you and not just saying, "your husband," "your wife," "your partner," whatever. It's no, say their name. So I really, absolutely appreciate & I can see how they really appreciate that.

Kelly Augspurger [00:19:51]:
The Steadfast Care Planning podcast is sponsored by The Certification for Long-Term Care, CLTC, is an in-depth training program that gives financial advisors the education and tools they need to discuss extended care planning with their clients. Look for the CLTC designation when choosing an advisor. If you're looking to become a CLTC, enroll in their masterclass and enter "Kelly" in the coupon code field for $200 off. Well, Chris, what role does community play in this healing process? And what kinds of support systems do widows say make the biggest difference? What do you see?

Chris Bentley [00:20:26]:
Community is so critical. You know, widowhood, as I mentioned, is deeply isolating. I particularly feel for those in more rural areas of our country where they just don't have a group to connect. There isn't a local grief share or it's an hour and a half away. And so they don't go when they need that community. It's so important. Having someone say, "I remember feeling that way," is powerful. Knowing that they're not alone, knowing that somebody else feels, or felt just like they do today, is so helpful.

Chris Bentley [00:20:55]:
So I would say that's number one. Just surrounding yourself with a peer group is especially helpful. Widows supporting widows, widowers supporting widowers. We often connect best at the level of our struggles. So many widowed people meet in grief share and that's hugely valuable to learn that you are not alone.

Chris Bentley [00:21:16]:
But so are regular spaces that aren't about grief. Not right away, but venturing into a book club, or a walking group, or volunteering. Our model allows folks that we help to come back and volunteer to help others through that journey that they have just taken, or had taken at some point in the past. Places where they can discover, or rediscover who they are, what their purpose is. Because many really struggle with identity, right? The future goals, future plans were together plans. There were goals shared together and discussed and planned and hoped for. And that's all gone. So it's not just losing a spouse, it's losing identity and plans for the future.

Kelly Augspurger [00:22:00]:
And dreams, right?

Chris Bentley [00:22:02]:
Dreams, exactly. We all have dreams. So, they need to rediscover that dream. They need to rediscover what that purpose is. Why are they here? So at Wings for Widows, we see healing when someone who was supported, as I said, turns around and supports someone else. That shift from loss to purpose, it's so transformative and really brings some healing and recovery. The loss is always the loss. And grief isn't something you get over, it's something you move forward with.

Chris Bentley [00:22:31]:
But there can be healing and can be recovery during that time and community is a huge part of that.

Kelly Augspurger [00:22:37]:
Yeah, that's fantastic. I know we, at our local church, we have a grief share program and I know people that are in it that have been in it for years. They originally joined because they were grieving themselves after the loss of a loved one and then they stayed because they're doing exactly what you said. They're taking that loss and turning it into a purpose and serving and helping others navigate that really difficult journey. So yeah, finding a group, people in your community that you can do this with and can walk alongside you during this process.

Chris Bentley [00:23:09]:
Yeah, and I'm going to add to that, Kelly, there are so many groups out there. We often hear that, "I just didn't know that they existed." And our website under "Resources", it's all free. But anyone who's listening that's looking for resources, particularly around networking groups, social groups, groups that they can join either locally, or remotely. They're all listed on our website.

Kelly Augspurger [00:23:30]:
Oh, terrific. I was going to ask you, where do people go besides just going to Google, Chris, how are they supposed to find these places? All right, so you've got some.

Chris Bentley [00:23:37]:
We've got resources, but yeah, there's some resources there and it's nice to know that there is a lot of support out there.

Kelly Augspurger [00:23:42]:
Chris, have you noticed any differences in how men compared to women grieve, or process widowhood, and should we support them differently?

Chris Bentley [00:23:52]:
That's a great question because we do work with both men and women. There are four times as many widows as widowers, so we work with more widows than men. But they both need our support and our love, frankly. There's some general patterns. I think men often struggle with isolation. They may not have built strong networks first of all, and they also shy away from really confronting their emotions and often avoid asking for help until the last minute. You know, in extremis. They also may be less comfortable with grief groups but respond to more sort of activity based support.

Chris Bentley [00:24:24]:
Widower Support Network, for example, is a peer led community. We just talked about community and this is a peer led community where widowers are connecting with widowers in a safe place. Men, despite the pressure society puts on us, they need TLC to. Losing a wife is no less painful than losing a husband. And we often think that somehow men handle this loss differently. Women, they probably face more financial challenges. We see obviously a lot more women, as I mentioned, come through our program. More traditionally, guys kind of handle the finances and quite frankly, the wives manage children and the household.

Chris Bentley [00:25:04]:
So that is changing with our younger demographics, but that is still true. And so, unless they were involved in money decisions and doing that, they tend to need more help financially and they tend to more openly seek emotional support. So that's kind of the general patterns. I think both really struggle as solo parents. We often forget that's a whole other level of complexity. And research shows that more than 50% have minor children living in the home when the spouse dies. That's huge.

Chris Bentley [00:25:33]:
The average age is 59 in this country. So there's a lot of young widows and widowers who suddenly are faced with becoming a solo parent. On top of the grief, on top of taking over the finances, on top of perhaps going back to work, of managing. Juggling all of these balls, they now are dealing with children when that wasn't a worry before. So parents and oftentimes grandparents often need to step up and support in this regard.

Kelly Augspurger [00:26:04]:
Okay, for those who are listening, who haven't experienced widowhood firsthand, how can they proactively plan to make things easier for their spouse should they pass away first?

Chris Bentley [00:26:15]:
Gosh, I was just speaking yesterday and I got this question at both events. "Help folks get ready for loss." Gosh, I wish we did. We're talking about it because it's so important to prepare to make things easier for a surviving spouse starting with some sort of a master document. What are the accounts that we have? What are the passwords? Who are the key contacts? Who do I need to call when I need help? And there's so much more to that. But making your spouse aware. Where is this list? I actually wrote a book in 2020 called "The Legacy Planning and Conversation Guide" just for this reason, to provide a tool, a guide that couples and individuals can use to prepare for end of life.

Chris Bentley [00:26:56]:
And you know, in my opinion, it's the most loving gift that you can provide before or after heaven.

Chris Bentley [00:27:05]:
So that and life insurance. Life insurance cures a lot of ills. If there's one thing I wish people would do is buy when they're healthy, buy a small-term policy. It makes such a difference in that transitional period for the spouse. So those are the two things. Prepare. Have these conversations, these important conversations. Before, of course, before, right?

Chris Bentley [00:27:24]:
Nobody knows when their last days here on earth are. And so before, as I say, as early as possible, have these conversations. You can always update the document, but have the conversations. Get on the same page and keep a record and then revisit it and have regular financial conversations maybe once a year. Talk about the values, talk about your funeral wishes, talk about the children and what you would want. Talk about your professional network. So 80% of men die married. So the burden often...

Chris Bentley [00:27:55]:
falls on women and the women, 80% of women die single. So it's very likely that the female spouse is going to outlive the male spouse. So it's important that both spouses prepare for this eventuality. And one thing that as a practicing financial advisor, I insisted is that both husband and wife would have meetings with me. So that they're both informed about what they had going on. And I always highly recommended they do that with their estate planning attorney and their CPA and so forth, because one of these days that's going to become really important that we did it that way. So, yeah, I think planning practically now is one of the most loving things that you can do.

Kelly Augspurger [00:28:35]:
Agree, Chris. Great tips there. And we are quickly running out of time, Chris, so just a couple last quick questions for you. One, any final advice on what people can do, or how they can plan to live well and to protect their family?

Chris Bentley [00:28:48]:
Gosh, we could spend a whole episode on this, right?

Kelly Augspurger [00:28:51]:
I know, just on that one more nugget. You've got anything else?

Chris Bentley [00:28:55]:
Yeah, well, I think I would build on what I just said, don't wait for a crisis to prepare because I'm a 100% certain that we're all going to die and I'm not certain at all when that's going to come. But the more you can do with building relationships and focusing on what's important around purpose, around giving back, being grateful for what you have, where you are, the relationships you have, and investing in those and then ensuring that that love carries over into planning is really critical. Investing in your own growth, not just a role. I think if you're only defined by being someone's spouse, or parent, employee, you're more vulnerable when these roles shift, when you're suddenly now the income earner, or the solo parent. So be involved, stay involved, be wise, and plan.

Kelly Augspurger [00:29:39]:
And plan. Well, Chris, where can people learn more about you and Wings for Widows and how you help people?

Chris Bentley [00:29:45]:
Well, thanks. I thought you'd never ask. You can visit us at WingsForWidows.org or WidowersSupportNetwork.com and again, you'll find other resources at both of these locations. Basically, wherever you are in your journey and whatever's required, you can access support and courses and resources to help you navigate widowhood wherever they are in that journey.

Kelly Augspurger [00:30:05]:
Wonderful. Well, Chris, thanks so much for your time today and your expertise and your heart. For widows and widowers out there, it's definitely a very important community to serve. When they're at their really most vulnerable, we need to be able to be there and to serve them and to help them. So thank you. I know this is probably a mission for you and a purpose for you and a really wonderful thing that you and Wings for Widows are doing. So thank you. Really appreciate it.

Chris Bentley [00:30:34]:
Thank you.

Kelly Augspurger [00:30:34]:
Have a terrific day. Thanks so much.