What to Do After You Lose a Loved One

Losing a loved one can feel very overwhelming. Grieving is an important part of the process, but what about all the practical things that need done? 

Join Kelly and Nic Nielsen, Co-Owner of Know My Plan, as they discuss what to do after you lose a loved one.

In this episode:

🔹 What to do after you lose a loved one: weeks 1-4 and after months 1, 3, and 6. 

🔹 Decisions you should wait at least a year to make

🔹 General advice

Watch this episode on YouTube:
  https://youtu.be/nA5134NqKWY 

For additional information about Kelly, check her out on Linkedin or www.SteadfastAgents.com.

To explore your options for long-term care insurance, click here.

Steadfast Care Planning podcast is made possible by Steadfast Insurance LLC,
Certification in Long Term Care, and AMADA Senior Care Columbus.

Come back next time for more helpful guidance!

Transcript

Kelly Augspurger: [00:00:02] Hey everyone. Welcome to the Steadfast Care Planning podcast, where we plan for care to live well. I'm your guide, Kelly Augspurger. Today with me is my friend Nic Nielsen, a Certified Financial Planner and co-owner of Know My Plan. Nic, thanks for being here.

Nic Nielsen: [00:00:17] Kelly, thanks for having me. I know it's going to be a fun discussion.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:00:19] It is. We're going to talk a lot of details today. We're going to be talking about important things that you need to know and do after the death of a loved one. I know this can be a really sensitive topic, but I think that everyone will really take away a lot of really useful information, so stick with us, guys. Nic, I know you recently lost the matriarch of your family. Condolences there. I know it's really difficult losing a loved one and there's a lot of grieving that takes place, but there's also a lot of personal and financial things that need to be handled. So let's talk about action steps that people will need to take the first six months. Okay and we are going to be covering a lot of detail, so I just want you guys to know listening if you don't want to take notes while you're listening, I have created a Family Roadmap, which is really what Nic and I are going through today. And this is a 40 plus page document that really helps people plan for extended care, but it also includes a Survivor's Guide. So if you want a copy, simply email me Kelly@SteadfastAgents.com or send me a DM on LinkedIn and I'm happy to send you a copy.

Nic Nielsen: [00:01:23] Kelly, the guide was incredibly helpful for me and it made me think about some things that I would have otherwise neglected, so it's very thorough, and unfortunately in our conversation today, we can't talk about everything that's in there or this would be like an eight hour podcast, but let's just break it down. What do people need to do week one after the death of a loved one?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:01:42] There are going to be personal and financial matters that are going to need to be considered. On the personal side, obviously this is a very difficult situation. We need to give ourselves time and grace and time to grieve and be with family. So definitely wanting to spend time with your family and, you know, hug and go through those memories about your loved one, but you also need to concern yourself with funeral details. So this is probably going to be with that close family unit that you have, but maybe it's also some close friends. You want to notify these relatives and family members. You're going to want to put together an obituary. So that's where you're going to gather together as a family and talk about things that your loved one did in their lives like did they work, what was important to them? And obviously list that to be able to give to the newspaper, and then also, if the deceased person has any young children or any pets, you're definitely going to need to arrange for care there immediately and then have a friend or even a house sitter watch the home. That's going to be important, especially if that person is no longer in the home, and even during the funeral, which I think some people don't think about, but if you are at that home during the funeral and just during the first couple of weeks of the loved ones passing, we don't want someone to notice that no one's home and for any possible shenanigans to go on at the home.

Nic Nielsen: [00:03:10] So no shenanigans.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:03:11] No shenanigans. We don't want we don't want anybody getting in the house or messing with the house. So definitely having someone kind of keep an eye on that house and remove those valuables from the home, too, if they're not in the house. Especially if you think about jewelry, expensive jewelry, or other really important valuables, maybe removing those from the home as well and taking them to someone else's home in the family I think is a good idea. Putting together a list of flowers and cards and donations and other expressions of sympathy is a good idea. And then accepting help Nic from friends and family, again if they have a child, if they have a pet, if someone wants to bring meals over for dinners, for lunches or cook for you, answering phone, helping people get to and from places. And then if you have family coming in out of town, hopefully another family member can arrange for them to stay in a hotel or even invite them in their home so that they have somewhere to stay. I think that's really important. Then after the funeral, a lot of times people do an after service luncheon, so you're going to need to arrange that as well. So those are going to be on the personal side, some personal things that need to be handled. Let's talk about financially. What do you need to do? Well, you're going to need to contact a funeral director or a memorial society in order to arrange that funeral. And also, you're going to need to arrange the donation of the body if you're going to maybe work with like a medical school.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:04:39] If your loved one wanted the body to be available to do that, that's going to need to happen and then decide what type of elements you want in that funeral service. Hopefully at the passing of your loved one, you've already had these conversations, but sometimes not. If it's a sudden death, unexpected, especially, quite early and the loved one isn't older and they haven't really thought through these things, then you're going to need to work through those things. But hopefully you've had these conversations and you kind of know what your loved one already wants. If they're a veteran, contact your local Veterans of Foreign Wars or American Legion because they might be able to provide you with an honor guard for a military funeral, which is really cool and really special. So I think that's really important if they're a veteran. Then notify the deceased person's employer to be able to arrange for benefits for the beneficiaries and check to see if they participated in any kind of company retirement or pension plans. And then I'd say lastly after that first week is notify all the insurance companies. So this is going to include life insurance, your home insurance, accident, Medicare, long term care insurance, credit card balance, any auto loans, those types of things, you're going to want to contact these companies and then they will send you the claim forms and instructions. And then Nic, I think you had an important thing that you added as far as beneficiaries. What's important to consider there?

Nic Nielsen: [00:06:05] Yeah, so I think it's always important to remember that the beneficiary designations always trump the will. You know, if it's a joint account with you and the deceased, that is now solely your account, regardless of what the will says. If there's an IRA that has beneficiary designations and it lists Jack and Diane as the beneficiaries, that's who gets the money. Regardless of if the will says everything goes to Kelly. Beneficiary designations always win.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:06:32] That's right. Which leads us to the will. You need a copy of that will and any other estate planning documents that your loved one has and make sure to get a notarized copy. So typically, the wills are going to be filed with the family attorney. Maybe they're going to be in a lockbox or a safety deposit box, might be in a drawer in their home office. Hopefully, you know where that is in advance, but you definitely are going to want a copy of that. And then you're going to want to order probably at least ten certified copies of the death certificate and I know that sounds like a lot, but if you think about like different insurance companies and different organizations that you're going to be contacting, they are going to want a copy of that death certificate. So you're going to need a lot of those copies. Your funeral director might be able to help you order those as well. So you can ask that funeral director about those death certificates. And then a couple other things too, Nic. As you're receiving mail, incoming mail, you're not going to probably be going through the mail that first week, but just set it aside in a pile so that you can go through it at a later date, but this will prevent, like losing bills and checks and just confusing things in that first week. So just set those aside in a box. You can go through those at a later date, and if you can make a photocopy of some of the outgoing business mail that you might send out because again it's an emotional time and you might forget what you already did. You know what you already mailed out if you don't make a copy of it. So I think those are important things to do and some other important things other to-dos, Nic. I think when you're making those arrangements with the funeral home, keep in mind that the average funeral can be between $7,000 and $10,000. It's definitely not inexpensive. So hopefully the family has some funds set aside for this, but really having a way to control those costs with the funeral is to don't go alone, go with some family members or a close friend who might be less emotionally involved than you are at that time to be able to make these arrangements because you might want to do every single thing that the funeral director recommends, but maybe that's not the best thing. So if you kind of have an outsider or someone less emotionally involved coming in, they can help you really logically think through this as well, and not just emotionally. I think that's important, and then processing those insurance policies with the claim paperwork is going to happen soon thereafter too.

Nic Nielsen: [00:09:00] Just a couple of notes from my recent experience because I think it's kind of fun to put some practical input here. I think the funeral costs, you can actually Google like your town and average funeral cost, and one thing that I have found is that where my family member passed away in rural southern Illinois, there's only one funeral home in town or in that town, so they can charge whatever they want. So my mom, who was the executor, basically said no to like all of the add- ons and just bare bones funeral, and it was really close to $15,000.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:09:32] Oh, my word. Yes.

Nic Nielsen: [00:09:34] But if they charge $25,000, I mean, you can't really say no to it, and they know they're the only game in town. I live outside of Charlotte, North Carolina, a pretty metropolitan area. There are a lot of different funeral homes that somebody could use for a funeral. So one thing, as you, you know, think about your own situation and where you live, call your local funeral home as part of your planning and get an idea of what the cost of a funeral would cost today.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:10:00] Yeah, that's a great point, especially with a small town, small community. It might be a monopoly where you're just getting what you're getting, and so for your mom to be able to, you know what? We're just going to do bare bones, this is going to work for our family. We don't have to do all the bells and whistles. That can be a really hard decision because it is an emotional time, but doing some homework in advance of your area, how much things cost is good to get an idea.

Nic Nielsen: [00:10:22] Another thing that was interesting too was the obituary in the newspaper.

Nic Nielsen: [00:10:26] Okay.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:10:26] So to put an obituary in the newspaper was going to cost roughly $400 for like the small, just kind of square so-and-so died type of thing, date of birth, date of death. That's not like the cool story. The funeral home did an online obituary that people shared on social media and it was $80.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:10:45] No kidding.

Nic Nielsen: [00:10:46] So we wanted to do the online obituary because it was 20% of the cost, but $80 is probably what most people thought they would spend for to put it in the newspaper. So the newspaper has gotten very expensive.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:10:58] Wow and I would imagine more people are doing that Nic where they're opting for the online version instead of newspaper.

Nic Nielsen: [00:11:04] And it's really nice because you can see people's comments and stuff like. The matriarch of our family, she was a teacher and there's probably over 100 of her former students that chimed in and "Oh, I loved her. She made such an impact on my life." So, I mean, you get a little bit more bang for your buck, I think, as a family member to get to see some of those stories and comments that you wouldn't see had you just put it in the newspaper.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:11:27] Oh, for sure, yeah. Then you've got those memories. That's really special.

Nic Nielsen: [00:11:30] Yeah and I have it bookmarked, so that's cool. You know, something that you can keep with you. I don't think they take it down. And then another another nugget you mentioned like the will and the important documents. As a financial planner, we do our best to get a copy of all of our clients documents and then we keep them in the cloud, whether it's the will, the power of attorney, medical directive, like it's really important that somebody else maybe outside of your family, has a copy of those documents.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:11:58] Yeah.

Nic Nielsen: [00:11:59] Because you never really know when you're going to need them and about two years ago, I had a potential client. It was actually the sister of a client whose husband was diagnosed with dementia. He just got moved to a home and she's like, "I know that we have our estate planning documents. I have no idea where my husband put them." Well, we contacted the attorney who wrote the documents and he said, "Hey, did those documents over 15 years ago, we don't have a file in the office for them."

Kelly Augspurger: [00:12:24] Oh, geez.

Nic Nielsen: [00:12:25] So she's like, "Well, you know, Larry kept everything in a barn." I was like, all right, so I go out there and it's a huge barn that's probably, you know, 100 by 40. I mean, it's like a small basketball stadium with boxes and it was about 90 degrees, and after 3 or 4 hours, I found the real estate planning documents.

[00:12:43] Wow.

[00:12:44] All that she knew is that they were in a blue binder.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:12:46] Oh, my gosh. Digging through boxes after boxes.

Nic Nielsen: [00:12:49] Boxes after boxes. You know, it was well over 100 degrees inside that barn with no air movement, but we found the documents.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:12:57] Oh, my gosh.

Nic Nielsen: [00:12:58] The point of this is you can keep those things in the cloud with a trusted partner, whether it's someone like you, a financial planner, a CPA. It's important that somebody else have a copy of those things because you never know what life's going to throw at you.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:13:11] Oh, for sure. Yeah. You can misplace them or forget them. Or what if that barn burned down? Then you no longer have that copy. Yeah. Having it in the cloud. Yeah. Great point, Nic.

Nic Nielsen: [00:13:19] Yeah and it has to be notarized, right? I mean, an notarized document is not a document.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:13:24] No, it's no good. It's not going to do you any good. Yeah, good point. Nic.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:13:27] And now for a brief message from our show's sponsor. The Steadfast Care Planning podcast is sponsored by Amada Senior Care Columbus. Amada is your one stop shop for in-home caregivers, senior housing advice and long term care insurance Claim assistance. Visit Amada Senior care.com/columbus-senior-care to learn more.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:13:48] What about week two after the funeral, Nic. What do people need to do?

Nic Nielsen: [00:13:51] Well, Kelly I'm an acronym man and I think that what you have to do in week two is you contact the FEDS. That's F-E-D-S. That stands for financial planner, Estate planner, gather your important documents, and contact Social Security. So the main things that you're looking for in a conversation with your financial planner. You just want to get an appraisal of the investments for date of death value. For some people that's going to have greater impact than others. You want to look to see if there is a step up in basis, which is really important. And just a really brief example, let's say Dad bought $10,000 worth of XYZ. It's now worth $100,000. If it was a solo account in his name that your new basis is no longer the $10,000 that he purchased it for, it's now $100,000, and if you sold the investments now, there would be no tax obligation. So under current law, we still have this step up in basis. At some point it might go away. If it's a jointly held account, it gets a half step in basis. So it's important to update things as you go. So if this is a jointly held account between Mom and Dad, don't wait to update the basis after both Mom and Dad have passed away. Take that first intermediary step as you go. The next thing in your conversation with the financial planner is you want to make sure that you are updating titling. If it's a joint account, it needs to be an individual account at that time.

Nic Nielsen: [00:15:10] If it is an IRA in the deceased's name, you need to get that updated. And then you just want to review life insurance and determine the next steps as far as filling out the claim paperwork and kind of understanding what that process is going to look like. Is the insurance company just going to send you a check for the amount of the death benefit or you're going to get a nice little book that has checks in it and you're going to get some nominal amount of interest and you can have it as kind of a checking account. You just want to understand what that process is. It's important to talk with an estate planning attorney. It doesn't have to be the person who executed the documents of the deceased. It's okay to start with that person. I think it's always a good reminder that that was the attorney for the person who is deceased. It is not your attorney. So you just want to make sure that you understand the terms of the will or the trust, and if you are the executor, you want to fully understand what your role is in the process. That estate planning attorney should be able to help you determine what the probate process looks like in that state. So where our family member passed away in Illinois because of how her assets were titled, she did not even have to file the will in probate court. So that was nice.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:16:18] Oh, what a relief. Yeah, that's a huge time saver and money.

Nic Nielsen: [00:16:20] Yeah, so she had sold her house a couple of years ago. She'd sold her car a couple years ago. She lived in a little apartment. Kind of a, it wasn't long term care, but it was like really close to it, so that was good. And all of her bank accounts were jointly held or had transfer on death designation. You want to make sure that you have all of your important documents gathered. We kind of alluded to them, but, you know, make sure you have all of the documents, make sure you understand what's in those documents. Get legal counsel, if needed to understand them, while friends and family might really love you and care about you, unless they are an attorney, it's probably not best to rely solely upon that advice and then seek professional. Seek a professional. This is one of those times when it really matters to seek a professional.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:16:59] Right.

Nic Nielsen: [00:17:00] And then contact Social Security. Our family member was a teacher in Illinois. Illinois teachers do not pay into Social Security, so we didn't actually have to contact Social Security Administration in this case, but for many people in most states, you will want to contact Social Security. There are additional benefits there, whether it's for widowers, minor children in some cases, and then for many, there is the potential lump sum benefit of $255. So you could apply towards the funeral expense or at this point, maybe you apply it towards the online ad.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:17:29] There you go. Great tips, Nic.

Nic Nielsen: [00:17:31] Nic. So that's week two, Kelly. Alright, wrapping it up.

Nic Nielsen: [00:17:33] Week three, we are turning the corner. What happens in week three after the death of a loved one?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:17:38] Sure. So at this point, you've already done quite a bit. As far as the insurance companies go, if you haven't already sent in that medical claim paperwork, do that at this point. You're also going to want to cancel any automatic subscriptions, prescriptions or services that are no longer needed, like cell phones, internet, cable, those types of things. You know, send an email, call the 1-800 number, get those things canceled. You don't need to be paying that out anymore and then begin to send thank you notes to acknowledge those people who helped you with the funeral or even in those first couple of weeks, those pallbearers, people that brought food, sent flowers, maybe they made certain contributions to charities. You're probably going to want to send some thank you notes. And then your funeral director may even have some cards that you can even use. Maybe you don't even need to go out and buy those cards. They might have a stack of cards that you can even use. Some additional steps for a death when you have a spouse that dies. So this is specifically for a spouse that passes away. You're going to want to notify your bank and financial planner to review whether to take the name off of the jointly held property and to update those beneficiary information as needed and Nic, I know you said earlier those jointly held accounts. That's going to be important. So those don't go through the estate, correct?

Nic Nielsen: [00:18:57] That's correct.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:18:58] Yes and then we're going to want to open a checking account in your own name if you don't already have one. And you're going to want to contact the IRA provider, if they had one, to determine if there's any required minimum distributions that need to be withdrawn, and if you are the beneficiary of an IRA, speak to the provider and your legal or tax advisor to help determine the most advantageous type of account into which you might place the assets. Talking to your financial planner, your attorney, again seeking a professional in this situation is really important. And then if your spouse owned a business, you need to start making decisions on what needs to happen, what's going to happen with that business. Are you going to continue the business? Are you going to sell the business? So those are going to be things that you really need to consider. So that's week three.

Nic Nielsen: [00:19:49] Hopefully there was a business succession plan, right?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:19:51] Yes and if you don't have a business succession plan, you need to do it. You know, this is your reminder. Get that going. Even if you're healthy and young, have a plan on what would happen if I weren't here tomorrow. What would we do with the business? So that's something that we think about in our business. Would we continue or would we sell? What would that look like? So that's definitely important to consider. So that's week three, Nic. What about week four after the death of a loved one? What do people need to do, Nic.

Nic Nielsen: [00:20:21] Well unfortunately, there's a lot of bad folks out there, Kelly. So you want to make sure that you reach out to the three credit reporting agencies, let them know that your loved one has passed away, and then just get an updated credit report to make sure that there's no new lines of credit that are out there because this is a whole industry taking advantage of people that have passed away. And so that's super important. And you want to contact your banks, credit unions, report the death, and cancel any credit cards in the decedent's name and close out any line of credits. I will say this is a week for activity. However, I would say that if there is a power of attorney on the account at the time your loved one passed away and it's not you, I would contact the bank as soon as possible.

Nic Nielsen: [00:21:03] Good idea.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:21:04] Because the power of attorney ceases at death and unfortunately money causes certain people to do crazy things. So you just want to make sure that you notify the bank to restrict any activity from the power of attorney and to not authorize or honor any withdrawals of money or checks. Unfortunately money causes crazy things to happen, even for the people that you would trust the most. You want to review accounts for automatic deposits and withdrawals, stop them if necessary. So this is one of those things when you go to the bank to notify them of this information, get a copy of 2 or 3 months worth of statements and that way you can kind of bird dog all of where the money is coming from and coming to.

Nic Nielsen: [00:21:41] Yeah.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:21:42] This is one I'm going to steal from you, Kelly. This is your idea. I'm going to give you credit for it. Remove the deceased from marketing and mailing lists. I mean, that was so brilliant. Tell us about that. What does that mean to you?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:21:54] Yeah, so when a loved one passes away, the mail doesn't stop automatically. So they're going to be getting snail mail, they're still going to be getting emails. So when you get those emails, unsubscribe them or respond back. Please remove from listing. If you don't see that unsubscribe link. If they have mail coming that you know, you're like, I don't even know why they were getting this to begin with, definitely remove that from listings and and hopefully there's even like an online link you can go to when they send that mailer in and you don't have to handwrite something back in and send out, but look to see however you can to remove them from all of the mailing lists, so you no longer get that because I think when we have a loved one pass away, obviously it's a very emotional time, and when you get that mail, it's another reminder that they're still not here. And so it's just I feel like another stab to the heart. Like it's just another reminder that, "Oh, yes, okay, I know they're no longer here" and it's just another reminder. So if you can minimize that as much as possible, and it's just annoying to get more mail than what you need. It's really helping in a variety of ways.

Nic Nielsen: [00:23:04] And then as it pertains to mail, I can tell you that my mom went to the local post office with a copy of the will and a copy of the death certificate, and she got all mail forwarded to her home address. And that has made the process extraordinarily easy because during our loved ones' final three months of life, she was in and out of the hospital a lot. So my mother is getting new bills from the doctor or from the hospital or the ambulance nonstop. So she wanted to make sure that those things get paid. So that's coming directly to her house, which makes things a little bit easier.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:23:38] Oh, good idea. Yeah.

Nic Nielsen: [00:23:40] There are also some additional steps for the death of a spouse. And this is, I think, a time at some point and this is probably as good a step as any, is you have to reevaluate your own situation, right? Do I need more or less insurance now, especially if you have minor children? And then you probably need to update your own beneficiary designations. If the decedent was the beneficiary on your policy and that's retirement accounts and anything where there's a beneficiary designation, it needs to be updated. And I would say your financial planner should be checking on that anyways once a year as part of their process and then check with your insurance agent as well about changes on home and auto policies and then I think this is also a time, I know it sounds weird, but use this podcast as a reminder to check on things as simple as your your cell phone coverage today and your your internet providers and things like that. I have personally known situations where the spouse passes away and the surviving spouse can no longer get access to their cell phone information because it was just in one person's name. So whenever possible, even on simple services like utilities, internet, cell phone, make sure that both names are on those as joint ownership. Kelly, we have now made it to the one month mark. After the one month, what should a loved one do?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:25:04] So we're going to want to look at utilities. So like you just talked about cell phone, cable TV, any kind of bills or home services, you're going to want to change those names. Consider also your vehicle registration. Does that need to be updated? Does that need to be changed? So contact your local DMV and you're going to want to prepare, and this is where your financial planner comes into play, prepare a net worth statement and make a list of do you have new income now? Maybe it's less income now and what your expenses are to be able to put together a realistic budget. See an attorney about updating your own will and review old records and files, including, I would say at least 13 months. So go a little bit beyond a year of canceled checks for any clues to any additional assets, benefits or any obligations to make sure you're not missing anything. If you travel, so you could contact the airlines to apply for transfer of frequent flyer miles to that primary beneficiary unless it was assigned in the will, but typically, I haven't heard too many people doing that in the will. So you're going to want to contact the airlines as well.

Nic Nielsen: [00:26:11] Kelly, congratulations. You inherited my points.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:26:15] You know, I think family members would enjoy that. Yeah. Being able to take a trip.

Nic Nielsen: [00:26:19] Yeah. I mean when I when I saw your notes on this, I was like, "Wow, that is brilliant." I would have never thought about that, but that is an asset, right?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:26:28] Yeah, it is. Which I don't know if you knew this, but even while living, you can gift points to a loved one. We've actually experienced that in our family, so that's a that's a cool thing that you can do.

Nic Nielsen: [00:26:40] The only reason I know just a little bit about that is because my wife, we've adopted three kiddos internationally.

Nic Nielsen: [00:26:47] Yeah.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:26:47] And we have a lot of people in that international adoptive network and there have been people that we've known who have been gifted points for their flights, which is a fantastic benefit when you're talking about international travel.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:26:59] Yeah, it is. It's a really cool opportunity.

Nic Nielsen: [00:27:02] And you don't want you don't want those points to just die with you. I mean, I wonder what the percentage of it is. I would wager to say that the vast majority of points die when the decedent passes away.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:27:14] Oh, agree. I would think it's at least 80%.

Nic Nielsen: [00:27:16] I would think so as well.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:27:17] Yeah. Yeah. I'm not a betting person. Pretty risk averse, but I'm betting high.

Nic Nielsen: [00:27:22] I don't bet, but if I did bet, that would be one I might be willing to bet, put put a dollar on.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:27:27] That's right. That's right. Nic. Alright. So we've made it past a month and maybe even a second month. So what should people do after the third month, Nic, when a loved one dies?

Nic Nielsen: [00:27:37] This is a great question. I think you're starting to probably get a little bit of a better understanding of what your expenses are going to look like. So create a monthly budget for yourself. And the one thing that, especially with the death of a spouse, is they don't really consider is the drastic either income change that they might have or the tax rate change that they might have. So if your income stays relatively the same, so maybe your spouse had a survivorship pension or they were the kind of the bread earner and you were able to keep the larger Social Security and you lost your own. The odds are is that your tax rate goes up because there is a little bit of a widow's tax for the surviving spouse. The other end of that spectrum could be your income takes a dramatic drop, which also causes some additional tax planning. So kind of at this three months after the death of a loved one, your tax advisor or your tax advisor coordinating with your financial planner are going to be like your new best friends because most people have some sort of tax change one way or the other after the death of a loved one.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:28:36] Yeah, really good point, Nic. What about after the sixth month? What are things to consider?

Nic Nielsen: [00:28:41] Yeah, I think you begin planning for your financial future by just reviewing your balance sheet, your assets and your liability, research changes in investments that you may want to make. These are things that you're starting to think about at the six month mark that are probably still too soon to make big decisions on, but this is just really formulating the plan and evaluating your current circumstances.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:29:02] Okay. Speaking of big decisions, what kind of big decisions should people wait on, Nic, even wait a year to make after the death of a loved one?

Nic Nielsen: [00:29:10] Well, I'm going to give you another acronym, Kelly. I call it the four Ms.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:29:13] Okay.

Nic Nielsen: [00:29:14] Not like three M, the company in Minnesota, but this is four. So number one mortgage. You want to wait a year on figuring out if you want to pay the mortgage off or not.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:29:22] Okay.

Nic Nielsen: [00:29:23] And that relates directly to the second M, which is moving. There's a lot of decisions about housing, right, that happen in that first year that you're thinking about. I don't want to be in the same house or want to move closer to the kids. Wait on mortgage and moving. Number three, wait a year on making investments and number four, wait a year on getting remarried. Marriage. Wait at least a year. Give yourself 366 days to figure that one out. Don't don't make any rash decisions.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:29:49] Right. Don't rush into that.

Nic Nielsen: [00:29:51] You have been full of such wise counsel during this segment. What are some other advice that you can give people during this really challenging time?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:29:59] Yeah. So we've talked a lot about financial matters, but I think on a personal level, Nic, don't isolate yourself. Find the support that you need, find the grief support that you need. Maybe that's at your local church, it's in your neighborhood, your friends, a military service office. There's so many groups available that are ready and willing to help you through a really difficult time, but you need to reach out and you need to accept the help so you don't need to go it alone. Don't try to go it alone. It's just too difficult to do. And we know that emotions are really high and we're going to go through all sorts of ups and downs, and so families who have lost a loved one are really prime targets for fraud. So be on guard. You might receive, like in the mail, demands for repayment of loans that don't even exist. This happens. So be aware of that. Be on guard. You might have unsolicited cash on delivery merchandise or even false overdue notices. So just be aware when you receive mail and they say you owe X amount of dollars, don't just write a check. Maybe you reach out to your financial planner or someone that you trust that has a good sense that can help you figure out, is this legit? Does this make sense to be able to figure out do I actually pay this?

Nic Nielsen: [00:31:28] Just to bring this up because I think it's very important. This is a prime season for romance scams.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:31:34] Yes.

Nic Nielsen: [00:31:35] You know, this is a time where people really get taken advantage of and some of these romance scams can be just devastating, not only emotionally but financially as well, where you see people get taken of whatever it is that they have left.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:31:47] Yeah.

Nic Nielsen: [00:31:47] So just just be very, very conscious of that. You know, maybe you have a friend who can try to vet people that come into your life, right? If there's new people that are coming into your life at this point, you want to vet them through a friend or family member and get some sort of wise counsel that would say, "Hey, maybe Tom sounds like a great guy, but you've never actually met or seen Tom."

Kelly Augspurger: [00:32:07] Right.

Nic Nielsen: [00:32:08] You know. So be very careful of online romance scams.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:32:12] That's right. Also, you are going to want to turn any unusual payment requests over to the executor or your attorney or other professional advisor. Don't tell strangers also that you are alone. I think that's really important. So if someone calls and asks for your spouse, you don't need to say, "Oh, you know, they're not here, they're dead." Like, you don't need to say that. If you're not comfortable saying that, you could say, "They're not available." You can mark incoming mail with no longer at this address. You don't have to specifically say that they have passed away, especially if it's a stranger, right? If it's someone you know, of course you want to tell them, but if this is a stranger, this is just a solicitor calling. You don't need to hand out that information to them.

Nic Nielsen: [00:32:59] Nobody's owed an explanation.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:33:01] No, no. I think that just puts you at risk for a romance scam or something like that.

Nic Nielsen: [00:33:07] And I have never heard of the the merchandise on delivery scam. So, Kelly, you are just nuggets of knowledge today. Like you're just you're just on fire. So that would be like somebody sends me, like, my favorite BlackBerry jam. That might be like a $6 expense, but then I get an invoice for $400 for it, right?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:33:27] You never know.I mean, I don't know if I don't think it's too common, but these things do happen. So just be aware of if this doesn't sound right, it probably isn't. You know, that's why you want to reach out to someone that you trust or a professional to be like I'm not really sure what this is about. Can you help me? Is this legit? And I've helped actually, a neighbor of mine multiple times she's received even stuff in the mail and she's like, "What does this mean?" And she's elderly. And so I've helped her navigate that, and I'm like, "No, do not respond to this. Do not send them a check. This is not ok, this is a scam." But having another set of eyes on that I think is is really important.

Nic Nielsen: [00:34:05] I think this is also a time to remind people to continue to invest in your own health.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:34:11] Yeah.

Nic Nielsen: [00:34:11] This is obviously a very stressful time. It's not good on the body, especially in large doses. So try to find ways that you can interact with friends and family members in a way that would encourage your own health. So if you want to talk to a friend, see if you could take a walk and do a walk and talk.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:34:29] Yeah.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:34:29] You know, or if there's an activity that you both enjoy, maybe you go play pickleball and have some camaraderie and get out in the sun and then talk and walk afterwards, right? Look for ways to have relationships with other people, and I think Kelly, you gave some great examples of how you can get out there. There are plenty of support groups that exist today to meet other people. I know that after the passing of a loved one, I've seen several people get involved in their church and they have groups for widows in their church that have actually led to new relationships and new marriages down the line. So try to get out, as painful as it is, try to get out, do healthy things, get some sunlight. Sunlight does a lot of good.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:35:11] Yes, it does.

Nic Nielsen: [00:35:12] You know, just don't stay inside and watch the news all day.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:35:15] That's right. Your physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual health are so important and we don't want to neglect any of those categories. And so especially after the death of a loved one, stay engaged. Take care of yourself because you and your family will benefit in the long run.

Nic Nielsen: [00:35:32] As a reminder, I know people are probably watching this and they're probably thinking, "Oh my goodness, how can I get more Kelly in my life?" So, how can people how can people find you? And number two, once again, how can they get that guide that is so awesome that you've put together?

Kelly Augspurger: [00:35:47] Yeah. So people can find me on LinkedIn. Kelly Augspurger with a P, connect with me there or our website: www.SteadfastAgents.com. I'm happy to answer any questions. You can email me at Kelly@Steadfast Agents.com. Again, I'm happy to email you the Family Roadmap so you can have all these nuggets and it's a PDF, Nic, and so it's fillable. So you can have an electronic copy, you can fill it out as you need to, you can make changes in it and resave it if you want to print also a physical copy of it. Give it to your financial planner, your estate planner. Keep a copy for yourself. If you have adult kids that you trust that you want to have a copy of this. Also a great idea. Those are great ways to connect with me, Nic. What about you? Where can people find more information about you, Nic, and how you help people?

Nic Nielsen: [00:36:36] Awesome, Kelly. Yep. Probably the top two ways would be on LinkedIn. That's where I spend most of my time on social media and then you can check out our website at www.KnowMyPlan.com and you can always reach me on email at Nic@KnowMyPlan.com.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:36:49] That's right. And Nic with a C, no K.

Nic Nielsen: [00:36:50] That's right.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:36:51] And also Nic. Got to plug you for your book "Visual Finance." Tell people about that.

Nic Nielsen: [00:36:55] Yeah, I often say it might be the best book that you'll never read because there's very few words in it. It is 40 sketches of financial planning concepts and it's just pictures. If you want to learn more about the pictures, there's a QR code on every page. You scan the QR code and it takes you to about a 60 to 90 second practical financial planning application of the picture. You can buy it wherever fine books are sold.

Kelly Augspurger: [00:37:17] Fantastic. Nic, tanks so much for your time today. Thanks for the tips and the wisdom that you've provided. I hope people walk away feeling, you know what, we can make a plan and know what to do when that difficult time comes. So thanks for being here.

Nic Nielsen: [00:37:29] Absolutely. Kelly, a pleasure, as always!

Kelly Augspurger: [00:37:31] Alright. Take care. Thanks, Nic.